Today I’m going to share the most scary, painful, amazing day of my life. The day this little bean:
Became this little squish
(*disclaimer* while I find natural, med-free deliver to be the best option for me and my babies, I in no way think that women who need c-sections or epidurals, to be bad people or less of a mother because of it. No matter how you had your baby your just as much a woman and just as much a super hero as the any other mother!!)
Last year at this time I had just started living with my boyfriend and we were planning on having tons of fun and becoming parents when we were both in our 30’s. Little did we know, in just 2 weeks, we’d find out our children would be coming 12 years earlier then planned.
The day I found out I was pregnant the first thought that entered my mind (after, oh crap, what on earth am I going to do), was,
“I need a c-section. No way on earth I’m having this baby naturally. C-sections are so much faster. No pain.“
Thank my lucky stars I didn’t go with my first gut reaction.
The more I thought about it, the more I started leaning towards a completely drug free delivery with a midwife. After all, my sister had done it twice (at the time, we ended up being pregnant together and she just had a third un-medicated midwife delivery!) and my mom had 5 un-medicated hospital deliveries, so why couldn’t I?
The more I researched it, the more I knew this was the only way I could have my baby.
Women are physically built to have babies.
Did you know that even if you don’t push, you’d still have your baby? Your body would push the baby out on its own without any help from you. How cool is that? Ours bodies are just perfect for having babies.
So, I started to see a group of midwives at a local birth center.
It was the most amazing experience of my life. They felt the same way I did about birth and believed in me and my abilities to have a natural birth. They helped me through my crazy pregnancy and all the ups and downs. They answered my questions every time I had one and would spend over an hour at an appointment just talking to me if I had concerns.
They were amazing and helped me make it to d-day,
February 10th 2013
When my due date finally arrived I had been having false labor on and off for 5 weeks. I was worried I’d have no idea when it was the real deal because sometimes the false labor got pretty intense and regular.
But as I was bouncing on my yoga ball (trying to help baby’s head drop down and engage) watching a movie with my fiance the night of my due date, I started leaving little puddles everywhere I would sit.
In movies a woman is always just standing around (usually in an elevator) and suddenly there’s a gallon of water on the floor, she’s screaming bloody murder and one commercial break later, she has the baby.
Not in real life.
I waited around to see if it was really my water breaking or not. I had been having contractions since 4 pm that day and was so tired of false labor I didn’t want to get my hopes up.
Sure enough, it didn’t stop and I knew my water had broken. I called my midwife to give her the heads up that I’d probably be coming in at some point in the near future and my water had broken. I planned to labor at home as long as possible.
Within a few hours of my water breaking the contractions became very painful and there was no position in which I could get comfy. I only got 3 hours of sleep the night before so only getting 4 again that night seemed like a bad start to what could be a long labor.
By 4 am on the 11th I had been having contractions for 12 hours and my water had been broke for 8. They were about 3 minutes apart and I couldn’t really move through them so I decided to go into the birth center. I thought for sure I’d have to be close to4 cm dilated (and 5 cm meant I could get in that big, warm, amazing birth tub). So when I got in they checked me and I was at a 1. I was a little discouraged, but I figured I’d just move around and do different things to help me dilate.
After 5 hours of no progress the midwife sent me to go out for breakfast. Sometimes getting your mind off of labor (haha, that doesn’t ever happen. At least not for me) can help you to relax and progress. So there we were, me in tons of pain, my fiance and my mom just chillin’ at Bob Evan’s eating pancakes and eggs.
When we got back I got a birth room and they checked me.
It was 10am and I had been feeling contractions for a while and they hurt really bad. They never felt like cramps like everyone said they would. They felt like a terrible, piercing pain all over my stomach and back. I attribute the amount of pain I was in the whole time to the fact my water had been broken almost my entire labor, and once your water breaks, contractions can become much more painful.
Finally around 2:30pm the midwife checked me and I was only at a 2. I was in so much pain and couldn’t believe I was only at a 2.
At this point a new midwife was on duty and she decided to test whether my water had truly broken or not. All the tests came up positive except for the most important test (which we later found out was messed up because the previous midwife had used KY jelly when checking my cervix). So she decided to send me home until they became more painful.
Boy did they ever.
As soon as I got home the became unbearable. I was in so much pain I just moved from one place to another moaning every 2 minutes with the contractions. At 9 pm on the 11th we decided to go back into the birth center.
Mind you, its a 45 minute drive to the birth center. This was my third 45 minute car trip in labor. Not fun.
When we got in she checked me and I was at a 3. Woo. Hoo. 25 hours of labor and 3 cm dilated. At this point I became very discouraged and just wanted to cry. She tested again to see if my water had broken. This time she got positives on all the tests and we decided I should stay there.
Looking back it was a really good thing the first test was screwed up. Because technically, my water had already been broken for 21 hours and at the 24 hour mark you have to be in a hospital. But ‘officially’ it had only been broken since I got to the birth center this second time.
Que 6 more hours of uneventful, painful labor. I started to get sick and threw up everything I had eaten for the past few days. Not fun. However, puking dilated me to a 5. Which meant (drumroll please!) I could get in the birth tub! Yay!
So I found a little relief in the tub and labored, again uneventfully until 7 am. By 7 I was done. I just wanted it to stop. I was done being in labor. I was done being pregnant. I was done being alive. I wanted the baby OUT! After the midwife checked me and I was only at a 5 still, we both decided some, ‘therapeutic sleep’ was in order. I hadn’t slept in 30+ hours and only had 4 hours before that. I was exhausted.
So I got a shot of nubane mixed with Benedryl. It made it so you could still feel and have contractions, you just couldn’t stay awake to know it.
I got 4 hours of sleep and it was truly a lifesaver. I felt ready to continue after that and got back in the tub.
At 1pm the on 12th, I felt like I had to push. Lo and behold, the midwife checked me and I was at a ten and the baby’s head was right there!!
I was so excited. So I pushed.
For 5 hours.
At 6 pm the midwife said we had to go to the hospital. The baby was all the way down (literally an inch in, I could feel her head with my fingers) and she wasn’t coming the rest of the way on her own. Plus my contractions were spacing out.
So we made the half hour car trip to the hospital.
Let me tell you what.
NEVER EVER TAKE A HALF HOUR CAR TRIP WHILE YOUR PUSHING OUT A BABY!!!!
It was the worst car trip of my life.
Plus my mom got lost on the way to the hospital and we had to stop and ask some random guy where it was.
We finally arrive and they make me change into there hospital gown, get hooked up to 6 IVs, sign papers (yes, sign papers while I’m pushing….) before anything happened.
So finally, after 51 hours of labor and 6 hours of pushing, the doctor finally came in, made the decision (without consulting me) to give me a third degree episiotomy, and vacuum out the baby. More then anything I wanted to keep my placenta and have the baby right on my chest for skin to skin contact with delayed chord clamping.
But, her chord was immediately cut, I didn’t even get to see her before they whisked her away to test her for who knows what, and they refused to let me keep the placenta as it was ‘hospital policy’.
However, the second she was out, I instantly felt a wave of relief and felt awesome. They were poking and prodding at her for half an hour and then they finally handed her to me.
Delilah Raine B. was born at 7:12 pm, February 12th 2013 weighing 8 lb. 3.1 oz. and 22.5 inches long
My fiance was crying, I was crying and we finally had our baby girl. She was so worth all the pain. Looking into her eyes I fell in love right away.
Most amazing day of my life.
If you took time to read all that, thank you!
Happy Mother’s Day to all the mommy’s out there!
~Courtney, The Crunchy Delinquent
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